


Between The Shadows And The Light

by Druundev



Category: Naruto
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Betrayal, Drama, F/M, Mental Instability, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-02-10 23:44:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12922761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Druundev/pseuds/Druundev
Summary: [AU] Sakura Haruno sits in Ibiki Morino's interrogation cell, waiting for her punishment and prepared to hang for her crimes. But when it turns out that all he wants is to play psychologist and make her retell the whole story to him, Sakura isn't sure how to react.





	1. Interrogation I

**Author's Note:**

> I know the "Sakura goes with Sasuke to Orochimaru" AU has been done to death, but I can never find any that I actually enjoy, but I've developed this version of the story in my head for so long and so many times in so many different version that I feel like its time for me to write it down.  
> I'm not really active in fanfiction writing communities and I don't share most of what I write, mostly because I don't feel its good enough but I still hope you all enjoy.

 

 

Anyone who was unlucky enough to catch Ibiki Morino walk down the dark corridors of the Konoha torture and interrogation force would know to turn around and walk the other way.

The massive man's face looked even grimmer than usual, he normally wouldn't allow his foul mood to leak unto his expression,  
You couldn't risk showing anyone how you felt when working in this line of profession.

But he needed to let himself have a moment of weakness before his next assignment.

He was good at this, an expert really.

Grilling hostages and forcing information out of them was his gift.

Making Criminals squirm till they spit out their secrets and cried like children is his everyday routine.

Some would say he enjoyed it, that he was a sadist, he would say he just enjoyed keeping Konoha and its Secrets safe and sound.

The truth was that he just did it because he was good at it.

But even the infamous Ibiki Morino was uncomfortable at times, even he sometimes squirmed when confronted with the evils of the people he had to interrogate.

He hated having to deal with Rogue ninja from Konoha especially.

It gave the interrogation a personal aura which could potentially lead to the prisoner having the upper hand in the interrogation, which made it hard for Ibiki to get his job done.

And that was out of Question for him.

Especially with this assignment, Ibiki reminded himself that he couldn't fail.

The information she could provide was too valuable, the prisoner too dangerous, and the bond the prisoner held to Konoha too personal.

So he allowed himself to scowl and glare as he turned down the shadowy hallway.

Because if he didn't, his mask could fall during the interrogation, leaving him exposed to her.

Investigator Mozuku was keeping watch in front of the questioning room, as he spotted Ibiki walking down the corridor he stood from the chair that was placed at the side of the door to the room that held the prisoner.

"Sir." He greeted Ibiki with a small bow, handing him a folder containing what Ibiki assumed was all the known information known about the prisoner.

"Is she inside?" He asked and quickly skimmed through the information, most of it dating to before her deflection from Konoha 3 years ago.

"Yes, the subject has been surprisingly cooperative ever since her capture."

Ibiki scowled at his colleague.

"Don't be fooled Mozuku, this is an S-Class Rogue we are dealing with, just because she plays nice doesn't mean she is any less guilty or dangerous."

"Of course Sir, it's just... she is so young i-its hard to believe the things she has done are true..." Mozuku looked at the door over his shoulder.

He turned around and they exchanged a knowing look.

"In the world of Shinobi, there is no mercy, not even for children." Ibiki muttered, but he kept his colleagues comment in the back of his mind.

An idea was forming in his haed on how he could handle this case.

Ibiki gestured to Mozuku to unlock the door as he continued to look over the reports.

His interrogation of Rogue S-Rank Ninja and former genin member of Team 7, Sakura Haruno, was about to begin.

* * *

 

The first thing she noticed upon him entering the room, was how heavy his footfalls were.

He was most likely a big and tall man, around his mid-30s she concluded immediately.

His presence brought a sort of deep and earthy scent into the room and she could almost feel his imposing frame as he moved around the previously clinical smelling room.

She waited for him to say something as he sat down in front of her and placed something on the table that occupied the space between them.

When he didn't speak she almost believed he might try to hit her.

She was sure the blow would be coming soon, when he stood and moved behind her.

She tensed her body and prepared for an impact but no harsh hand made contact with her, she only felt a slight pull at the knot that tied around her head.

The blindfold fell from her face and she blinked rapidly, trying to shield her eyes from the blinding light of the artificial glow of the ceiling lights.

Sakura kept silent as he sat down in front of her again.

She had expected that Ibiki Morino would be her interrogator.  
  
It was what made sense.

Konoha intelligence was small and there weren't a whole lot of interrogators that could get accurate information as fast and accurately as him.

He had that reputation, she remembered.

Her eyes moved away from his expressionless face. The Clinical feel of the room that her instincts had accumulated send a shiver through her. She would have liked to say the room reminded her of a Hospital, but all it reminded her off was the screams and guts filled laboratories that she had spent the last years in.  
Both as a Patient and a Doctor, if you could call it that.

The walls were ornamented with cheap white and green tiles, the floor was nothing but hard concrete that shocked her naked feet. The sharp light flickered down on the Metal table and Sakura let her gaze drift back to Ibiki who still was keeping his cool manner.

A minute passed an neither of them said a word.

Sakura supposed he was trying to build up tension between them, in this situation he had to establish himself as her superior if he wished to win the battle of words they would be engaging in.

That was the valid choice for him to make if he was working on the assumption that she had actual intentions of trying to keep information from him.

But she didn't.

Sakura would spill it all to him, she had no reason to keep anything secret.  
She wasn't Loyal to Orochimaru or anyone who followed him.

Or was she? She wasn't sure anymore.

Loyalty, Love, Friendship.

What did those things even mean to her now?

It didn't matter, she would be dead soon.

  
And she would bleed for her crimes, She knew that already.  
She had known that for a long time.

It's what she deserved.

He read through his files once more and then stared at her.  
Sakura wondered if he saw the same things she saw when she looked in the mirror.

If he saw the long rosy hair, the empty green eyes and the body that was sharpened like a blade.

  
There was no softness in her anymore.

  
When she had taken her first long look at herself, for the first time in what seemed like forever, during her time in the bathroom of Konohagakure's high-security hospital Sakura had seen nothing but blood and the haunting screams from people that were long dead at her hand.

  
Ibiki grabbed a pen from his black coat and as he looked at her she for the very first time since he had entered the room felt like he was actually conscious of the fact that she was a real human person sitting in front of him.

"Sakura Haruno," He started and paused for a second to look back down at his paper, as if to check that that really was her name, then continued.

"We both know why you are here and what you are being convicted off," He stated this so matter of factly that Sakura was left wondering if this was one of his interrogation tactics or if he was simply used to starting his day like this.  
_Which one is supposed to scare me the most?_  she considered.

"However, It's my job to fill out the... blank spots that are left, and figure out what exactly it is we are convicting you of... So why don't we start by hear-"

"It's morning, right?" Sakura interrupted him.

Ibiki face didn't reveal if he took offense to her interruption, he simply looked at her for a moment.

"What makes you think that it is? You haven't seen the sun since your capture," He scribbled something down on a small notepad she hadn't noticed him pull out.

"Which was how long ago again?"

"54 days and 19 hours ago," Sakura watched him as Ibiki scribbled his notes, she wasn't bothering to try to estimate what he was writing down but she still kept her eyes on the pen.

"And to answer your other question, I picked up on how red your eyes are, you look like you woke up less than an hour ago... also your breath smells like coffee and something oily...you ate breakfast less than 20 minutes ago. " She guessed.

Ibiki checked his watch and gave Sakura what she supposed was either a coy look or a smirk, hard to tell with her eyes still getting used to the harsh light.

 

"Almost right, it's currently 8:54 am on a Tuesday. I woke up 2 hours ago, but yes I did just eat breakfast. I had coffee and a sunny side up egg." He informed her.

 _Your senses are getting clouded down here, pathetic_   **She**  scolded her with a laugh.  
  
Sakura wanted to ask why he was openly giving her this much information but realized that she might have fallen into one of his traps.  
  
Had he purposely waited with eating till before going into her interrogation?

If he had wanted to know how her thinking skill was faring down here or what her level of perception was, she had just openly given him all the information he needed.

The thought of someone having been able to fool her like that shook her down to her bones.

Ibiki must have noticed, he couldn't have not noticed.

If he didn't he was bad at his job.

But maybe she was overthinking it? He could have just been in a hurry, trying to get to work on time.

But Sakura doubted he would have answered her question at all if he hadn't been planning to use it against her in some way.  
  
That was the kind of work that happened in the Interrogation force.

Sakura mentally made a note of what he had mentioned though, in case she needed the information.

"How old are you, Haruno-san?" He asked with his eyes glued to the girl, she was sitting slightly hunched over the table, her hands bound together in a mess of rope and chakra sealing tags.

Sakura raised her head at the polite tone he was using. Her eyes scanned Ibiki's entire form, trying to figure out what game he was going to make her play.

"15" Her throat had dried up while waiting in here and her answer came out croaked.

"That's inaccurate, you are 16... Your birthday was last month." He let the pen rest in his hand as he leaned back in his chair.

Sakura wasn't sure how to absorb his remark. But before she could consider it in her head he was moving on to the next question.

"How tall are you?" He asked and grabbed what looked like one of those old medical documents her doctor would fill out when her Mom took her to the doctor as a child.

She realized how long ago it had been since she last had thought about her mother.

"I-I don't know." Sakura stumbled over her words, as thoughts of Mebuki Haruno and how she always smelled like oranges and saltwater filled her head.

Ibiki took note of her stumble but didn't show that he noticed, only scribbled something down on his notepad.

"Do you remember how old you were when you graduated from the Acadamy?"

Sakura frowned, what was the purpose of these questions? Was he testing her Memory? Her credibility? She swallowed her desire to confront him about it but decided to keep playing along for now. She was unsure how else to proceed.

"I was 12."

"Correct, and what is your Ninja registration number?"

Sakura's befuddlement spread unto her face as she opened and closed her mouth twice, but nothing else revealed that he had caught her off guard.

"Its..."

She wasn't surprised that she could actually remember it, but rather that the memory of her younger self, laying in bed at night repeating the numbers to herself like a mantra, so proud of her accomplishment, had suddenly invaded her subconsciousness.

"It's 012601" She could hear young Sakura repeating it in her head, but also heard **her**  voice mockingly repeating it in a sing-song voice.

Ibiki sat himself up properly again and rested his arms on the table, crossing his fingers in his hand.

"Well Haruno-san, It seems your memory is working fine." He smiled at her in what might have been meant as a form of comforting manner, but Sakura just felt unsettled by what she perceived as confidence.

She wondered why she was even feeling nervous when she had already concluded that she would tell him everything, but something about Ibiki made Sakura feel like he would make her say things she would have never have realized herself.

"Why don't we start this interrogation for real now?"

The dangerous drop in his tone that revealed to her that the fun part was over now, might have made others squirm in their seat, but in Sakura, it instilled the sort of calmness you only saw before a storm.

"Why don't you start by telling me about when you and still sought after S-Rank Criminal and Rogue Ninja Sasuke Uchiha left Konoha?"

A storm was coming.


	2. Interrogation II

She swallowed hard.

 _A sign of nervousness?_   He wondered but continued.

"I don't need you to tell me everything, we just want a few details that we aren't a 100% sure yet."

"What do you want to know?" She barely whispered.

He noticed how her body had tensed up, she felt uncomfortable with his questioning but she still seemed willing to answer, so he pushed on.

"Let's start with the most important thing," He did one final mental check of all of the questions he had prepared for today's session and of those that he had been instructed by the Hokage to ask.

"Did you leave Konoha willingly?" He asked and spun his pen around in his hand, then put it down on the paper.

"Yes." She answered without a single drop of hesitation in her voice.

An honest statement, he figured.

"And when you left, were you aware of the consequences of what you were doing?"

He picked up on the tiny flash of confusion that crossed over her face for a second and elaborated.

"Were you aware that leaving Konoha without permission would make you a criminal?" He smirked, "That is of course without taking into account that you were joining a terrorist organization that at the time was in open conflict with Konoha."

Sakura tensed at his provocative tone.

Was he trying to get her to lash out?

She wanted to sneer at him for his arrogance.

As if he had any idea what he was talking about. As if he knew anything about what they had gone through. But something inside herself, shame perhaps, kept any malicious remark of defiance from leaving her mouth. She had played this game of docile cooperation for years now, She wasn't going to let the mask fall so soon into the interrogation.

 _That would be rude after all... let the man play his little games for a little bit... Sakura-chan_  

 **Her** voice crept into Sakura's consciousness and Sakura's entire body froze, her breath hitched. She concentrated on controlling her breathing and wished she was alone so she could scream to drown her out **her**  sickening songs.

 **We will have plenty of time left to play with him later...**  
  
Her wicked and candied giggle rang hollow through her mind and Sakura paled as her face distorted with a twitch.

Ibiki took note of how the girl in front of him had suddenly became engulfed in her own little world, seemingly not even realizing he was sitting in front of her.

He woke her from her daydream with a cough.

Sakura's face didn't reveal she had even been aware of how long she had been silent and she promptly moved unto answering his previous question.

"Yes. I was fully aware that leaving the village was against Konoha law and that the Organization I was joining was notorious and that I would potentially be aiding a dangerous enemy."

Ibiki toyed around with her answer in his mind, pondering potential reasons for why she answered the way she did and whether or not she was telling the truth. He felt unsatisfied with her answer and pushed for more information.

"Can you be more precise?"

Sakura took in a deep breath before responding.

"After I had met Sasuke Uchiha as he was about to leave Konohagakure, I convinced him to let me accompany him." She took a moment to choose her next words delicately. "I then gathered my belongings and we made our way out of Konoha were we met up with a team of Sound ninjas, They stuffed us into some form of sealed container and I don't remember what happened after that, I believed they died during Konoha's attempt at recovering Sasuke Uchiha and myself."

Ibiki nodded, indicating for her to go on.

"When I came back to my senses, I was in one Orochimaru's hideouts. I don't know where Sasuke was at that time but I was being confronted by Orochimaru and his assistant Kabuto. "

* * *

  
Sakura shivered at the feeling of the cold stone floor touching her calves. She was underground that much was sure, the complete lack of sunlight and windows revealed that much to her. She had only just regained consciousness a couple of minutes ago, she wasn't sure if she had fallen asleep or if the seals on the wooden barrel had sedated her. She must have almost run out of the air in that container because her lungs felt like hell, every breath she took had her regaining her composure.

"My, My... What have we here?"

Sakura almost cried out when she heard the terror-inducing shrivel of Orochimaru's voice. His amused chuckle launched spikes into Sakura's spine, the memories of the torture she and Sasuke had endured at his hand during the Chunin exam came rushing back, making her shiver in fear.

"That is Sakura Haruno sir." Kabuto explained to his Master "A Teammate of Sasuke-kun, although I do not believe we invited her here. Seems Sasuke-kun decided to take a little souvenir with him."

"Ah. I almost didn't remember her.."  Sakura felt his piercing eyes glide over her.

The dark room was lit up when Kabuto's hands lit up, his chakra forming into a sort of scalpel.

"Shall I dispose of her?" He offered.

Sakura's Breath hitched as he took a step towards her. She clutched her hands into fists and she sat on the ground rooted in fear, her mind was racing and trying to find a way out.

Orochimaru chuckled. He seemingly found the situation to be very amusing.

"Now Kabuto, since when has Sound ever been known for wasting perfectly able Ninjas?"

Sakura sat completely still on the ground and her eyes stood wide open as the Snake Sanin moved closer to her, with an unbelievable gentleness he stroked her cheek.

She didn't move a muscle and just stared at him, holding her breath. She wanted to pull away but her body was bitten by fear and wouldn't listen to her inner voice screaming at her to run.

"Besides," He continued as his thumb dabbed away a tear Sakura hadn't known was there "Sasuke hasn't had a chance to explain himself yet, We will decide what to do with her after he has woken up."

Content with his decision to let Sakura live for now, he stood and turned to leave the room.  
Kabuto nodded and let the Chakra scalpel disperse as he moved to follow after him.

"Wait!" Sakura called out after them.

Sakura recovered from her shock and quickly stood.

Kabuto turned around to face the young Kunoichi while Orochimaru just halted and turned his head.

"I'm not here just to..."

Sakura didn't know how to explain the circumstances without making herself seem like a Target.

Even though she and Sasuke were joining up with Orochimaru's people and Sasuke's mission was to gain as much power from the Sanin as he could, Sakura had made it her personal mission to keep these people's claws as far away from Sasuke as she could.

And to do that, she needed them to trust her.

"I'm here to join your organization, Orochimaru-sama."

She tried her best to sound brave and confident, she doubted that she could fool the older men, but maybe if she played at loyalty they would be less likely to kill her while waiting for Sasuke.

Maybe.

Sakura had no idea were Sasuke was or if he was even still alive, although something inside her told her he was, she needed to make them trust her if she wanted to survive long enough to find him.

"Is that so?" Orochimaru turned to her, his interest having peeked now.

"As far as I remember Sakura-san," Kabuto stated, looking thoughtful as he glanced her over. "you have no skills to offer us."

"That might be true Kabuto-san, But you said it yourself, a healthy body is worth a lot to ... to people dedicated to advancing Humanity."  
She decided not to mention the inhumane experiments Orochimaru had become known for, no use giving them ideas on where she could be of use.

Orochimaru's amused expression had morphed into one of consideration.

Kabuto also seemed to be examining her and she could almost feel their eyes judging her. She tried her very best to stop the shaking of her limbs and held her head high.

Ultimately Orochimaru's face shifted to a smile and he came to a conclusion. He gestured to Kabuto and he left the room, Kabuto who simply bowed at his departure, having understood the gesture in a way Sakura could not. He waited till Orochimaru had left the room before he turned to Sakura again.

"Orochimaru is interested in finding out what we can do with you, Sakura-san."

Sakura unclenched her fist as her eyes met Kabutos and they exchanged a moment of silence.

"Well then..." He smiled sadistically "Shall we begin?"

* * *

 

"And thus I began my training with Kabuto Yakushi..."

Ibiki scribbled down some final notes and looked over the new information on his paper.

So, Sakura Haruno hadn't been aware or a witness to the fight between Sasuke Uchiha and Naruto Uzumaki during the recovery mission, she had been in a different location entirely.  
And she hadn't been forced into an apprenticeship with Kabuto against her will as first believed, she had voluntarily offered in hopes of gaining their trust.

Ibiki looked from his notes to Sakura and back to his notes. This would take a lot longer than he first thought.

"Was Kabuto Yakushi aware of your previous training under the Fifth Hokage?"

Sakura who had earlier been holding her head high during their interview now shifted in her seat and looked at the ground.

"Yes." She declared insecurely.

"And how did he become aware of this?"

"Because I told him."

Intelligence had suspected as much, almost no one except Sakura Haruno and the Godaime had known of her training before Sakura's deflection. The training had included information and training on the usage of the Yin seal. Thus the recovery of Sakura Haruno and the value of her had increased tenfold.

The purple diamond that was nestled behind Sakura's pink bangs told them that Orochimaru most likely held that information now.

"What else did you tell him?" Ibiki demanded in a rough voice.

Sakura blinked and looked up to meet Ibiki's eyes.

"I didn't tell him anything."

Ibiki stared at her, nothing in her voice or her voice hinted that she might be lying, but the idea of her having kept her mouth shut through those 3 years, or Orichmaru not torturing any knowledge of Konoha out that she wouldn't willingly give, seemed so ridiculously he just couldn't take her word for it.

"You expect me to believe that you never revealed **any**  information of Konoha to either Orichmaru or anyone working with or underneath him?"

Sakura turned her head.

"You don't seem to realize what our training involved."

_She wouldn't be using the pity card, would she?_

Ibiki pondered if she was going to play the innocent girl who just followed her crush into hell for the sake of love, but he had concluded earlier that the girl sitting in front of him wasn't going to try to make him sympathize with her, quite the opposite. She wanted him to hate her. 

He just didn't know why yet.

"Enlighten me then." He offered, his hands thrown out. He was curious as to what her explanation would be.

She stared at him with her brow furrowed, then she cleared her throat and spoke.

"After my talk with Orochimaru and Kabuto, he took me to his laboratory, he examined me and questioned me on my abilities, he asked such things as if I could balance on water, climb trees, my ninja tools skills and so on..."

She trailed off and looked over to her right side and stared at her reflection in the massive mirror, seeing a sickly pale long haired girl staring back at her with exhausted eyes.

* * *

Sakura watched her reflection in the examination table, her hands holding on to the cold metal as the cutting smell of disinfectant and blood invaded her senses.

"We will have to take advantage of your healing skills,"

Kabuto moved around the room gathering different books and scrolls, an almost excited smiled grazing his face.

"How unexpected of you to be a medical ninja in training Sakura-san, " He glanced over at her "But so very useful! I've always wanted my own assistant."

Sakura folded her hands in her lap as she listened to him talk.

He carried the different scriptures he had gathered over to her and put them down next to her.

"You will have to start studying these immediately, based on your understanding of them I will conclude where we should start your training."

When Sakura didn't answer him but simply took the scroll on top of the stack and started reading, Kabuto went back to his previous business.

  
She glanced over to her new... teacher.. every now and then.

  
He was mixing up some form of brew or tea.

She couldn't tell exactly what he was making, her knowledge of poisons and other herbs still being limited, but she suspected that whoever would be drinking it wouldn't be doing so by choice, at least guessing from the chair with straps and the restraints attached to the examination bed she was sitting on.

The whole room resembled something out of a horror film.

  
To the right of the entrance there stood a big wooden table that Sakura assumed was Kabuto's primary workstation, judging from the mess of medical scrolls and tools.  
Both sides of the room had cabinets attached to them that were filled with all sorts of vials and medical devices, most of them looked more like weaponry to Sakura.  
  
In the middle, there was the metal examination table sakura was situated on and behind her, at the back of the room three massive shelves were filled to the brim with all sorts of tomes and scrolls, some of them in languages she couldn't decipher from her position, and the occasional dusted over jars.  
And nestled in between those bookshelves stood a heavy metal door that looked entirely out of place in the room. It was new, the stainless steel reflecting in the light.

Sakura finished the text she had started with and was reaching for a new one when the entrance door opened revealing Orochimaru and next to him, Sasuke.

He was injured, the way he was holding his arm and the blood-soaked scratches in his clothing revealed that much.  
She needed to figure out how badly.

She immediately jumped down from the table and moved over to him.

As Sakura put Sasuke's arm over her and helped him move to the examination table, Orochimaru and Kabuto exchanged a few words before Orochimaru left the room.

She helped Sasuke get on top of the table, his breath was labored and his eyes had closed.

"Sasuke-kun ... What happened?" She looked him over trying to identify his injuries.

"Sasuke had a little fight, The boy should be fine with some rest." Kabuto didn't seem to register the situation as severely as Sakura did, because the man made no move to help him in any way.

Sasuke groaned loudly in pain and she caught his hand, giving it a tight squeeze.

  
"Are you just going to let him be in pain?" She accused turning to face Kabuto who was pouring some powder into one of the vials he had tinkered with earlier.

He didn't bother looking over at her as he answered.

  
"His curse mark gives him plenty of healing prowess, its a waste of chakra to heal an injury he can overcome so easily."

"But he is in pain!" she exclaimed. 

Sakura couldn't understand Kabuto's reasoning at all but she tried to convince him to help by using his own logic.

"If you don't heal him, it might take longer before he can start his training."

At that comment, Kabuto turned to the girl.

He watched her and noted how she was clutching the Uchihas hand as tears were shimmering in her eyes.

"His training is of no interest to me... but yours is," He chuckled and turned back to his work "If you care so much, you could always try healing him yourself."

Sakura's breath hitched.

He was right.

If they wouldn't help him when he was suffering, she would. This was why she was here in the first place she reminded herself and let go of Sasuke's hand who was clutching to her weakly.

She walked over to Kabuto who still had his back turned to them, her eyes fell on the cabinets filled with medical tools.

And then she went to work.

She didn't bother asking him if she could use any of his resources and just worked on the assumption that if he intended for her to learn, that most people learned through experience.

She gathered several bandages and a pair of scissors on a medical tray and put them down on a small trolley. She looked over the different vials on the shelves but none of them had labels and she didn't trust Kabuto to tell her which ones would help and which ones would kill.

She rolled the trolley over to Sasuke who was breathing heavier than before, sweat forming on his forehead as his body worked hard to heal him.

But he needed help, she knew that just from looking at him. Maybe not help to stay alive, but help to ease the pain.

  
She grabbed the scissors from the trolley and cut open Sasuke's ragged shirt. His torso was covered with cuts and injuries, but what really concerned her was the purple and yellow mark that spread over most of his torso. Internal bleeding.

Her brow furrowed in concentration.  
  
She would bandage his cuts later.  
First, she would have to figure out how to stop his internal bleeding.

From her stack of books, that had fallen to the ground when Sakura had helped Sasuke on the table, she grabbed one that was labeled "Basic Medical Ninjutsu".  
She skimmed over the pages fast and perched the book up against the surgical tray, keeping the book open on a page explaining Internal bleeding and treatments.

Glancing over at the book every now and then Sakura first moved Sasuke's head to make sure his Airway was open, he was still breathing but his breathing was heavy and rough, his pulse was abnormal from the adrenaline and pain. She didn't know what his blood pressure was at but she would have to work with what she could.  
  
Sakura took a deep breath, then put her hands over Sasuke's wounded torso. She concentrated her Chakra into her hands and formed the hand seals for the Mystical Palm Technique that Tsunade-Sama had taught her.

Sakura carefully moved her hands over the injured flesh, feeling her Chakra flow over her arms into her hands, concentrating her focus on repairing the internal damages. She moved slowly and carefully, afraid of hurting him by misjudging her Chakra control or accidentally using too much, which could potentially send Sasuke into a coma.

She closed her eyes and could almost envision the cells repairing in front of her inner eye, being repaired one by one.

She didn't notice how Kabuto had watched her, observed her decision making, then him moving to the other side of the table to watch her slide the healing energy over Sasuke.

An hour later and having completely exhausted her Chakra reserve, Sakura removed her hands from Sasuke's body and looked at her work. The mark had shrunk a considerable amount, but there was still spots of discolored flesh indicating internal wounds.

  
She frowned and clenched her hands together.

"Dammit.." She muttered, clutching the table.  
_If only we had more Chakra! For heaven's sake, this shouldn't be so hard!_  A voice inside her yelled out in frustration.

There was no use complaining, she had done her best.

Even if it was just a small help, she knew she could still do more.  
  
Sakura grabbed the bandages from the trolley and started wrapping the rest Sasuke's wounds with them, most of them had already built a layer of scab to protect the body from parasites but it wouldn't hurt to go the extra mile.

She finished by putting band-aids on even the smallest wounds on his fingers. The band-aids had come out of her personal supply, she wasn't surprised that Kabuto hadn't bothered to acquire any in his Lab, when he didn't even bother healing internal bleedings.

She sighed and slowly slid down on the ground and leaned against the table where Sasuke lay, he had stopped murmuring in pain half an hour ago and was now sleeping soundly.

  
And as Sakura lay her head against the cool metal table leg, she herself found some rest.

* * *

He sat there in silence for a while after she had stopped talking.

_Learning by doing... huh_

Sakura's story painted a different picture of Sasuke and hers' time with Orochimaru then they knew of.  
  
From what they were aware of, Sasuke had been treated as a prized and rare possession by Orochimaru. His lackey wouldn't just have let him die, would he?  
  
Ibiki felt unsure if this meant their information was incorrect or if she wasn't telling the truth.

"So you healed Sasuke Uchiha. Was that your only job? Your training?" He questioned.

He grabbed the first paper from the file and read out loud.

"Unrestricted Taijutsu prowess and moves at extreme speed, Capable of creating massive damage using chakra induced strikes, Attention: Also equipped and trained with the tanto sword, has an extensive array of stealth and infiltration techniques, Genjutsu. Use extreme caution."

He gave her a questioning look but she just responded with a blank stare.

"That doesn't sound like the trades of a medical-nin Sakura-san, this sounds like the skills of a trained Assasin. Mind telling me where that came from?"

He put the report detailing her skills in front of her and turned it so she could read it herself, her eyes flew over it and she then returned to her practice of just staring blankly  at him.

She didn't move to say anything and Ibiki sighed.

"My patience is reaching an end here, Sakura." He leaned back in his chair. "I'm trying to fill our records, we have no idea why or how you were trained to do these things but all I know is that I cant finish my job without knowing it, and if I cant finish my job, you cant leave this room."

Her brow furrowed.

"I..." She started, looked at him and then looked at the paper again. "I'm not sure what to tell you." She confessed.

For the first time, Ibiki felt like she sounded like a normal girl.

He leaned forward again, crossing his arms and resting them on the table.

"The truth is what I want Sakura, why don't you continue where you left off?"

Sakura nodded and thought back to the events after their arrival at Orochimaru's hideout.

* * *

When Sakura awoke again she was no longer in Kabuto's Laboratory, but instead, she found herself leaning up against a bed in a room she didn't know. She was still underground, so they hadn't thrown her out in her moment of weakness, which was a relief.  
  
But the thought that she didn't know who had carried her in here or what they could have done to her while she slept was having a hard time leaving her mind.

She stood up and looked around. It was a plain and dreary room, a simple wooden closet was at the side of the door, she spotted her backpack leaning against it and on the other side of the door stood a simple chair and desk, the room was only lit up by a few small candles, one on the desk and one on the nightstand next to the bed that stood up against the wall that the door faced.

She realized that Sasuke was laying on the bed and she sat down next to him on the side of the bed and gingerly rolled back the blanket to inspect his wounds.  
  
He was healing at a ridiculously fast rate, she could remove the bandages and you wouldn't even have known he had been injured.  
  
She felt a bit shy now, as she rolled back the sheets and stood from the bed. Outside of the seriousness of his previous conditions she had just now registered his closeness and how his breath had felt against her skin when she had leaned over him, she scolded herself grimly for her unprofessionalism and carefully took a few steps back away from the bed.

Just as she was turning away she was grabbed by the hand.

"Sakura..." Sasuke croaked.

She spun around at the sound of his voice and quickly she stood at his side, helping him sit up.

He looked at his hands and started pulling the bandaids off his fingers then looked around.

"Where are we?" He simply asked while Sakura started helping him unbandage his healed wounds.

He winced slightly at her touch, she hoped that is was more out of pain than discomfort, but he didn't move to push her hands away.

"Underground, In Orochimaru's base. I was awake earlier when he returned you to the Laboratory but I think I fell asleep due to exhaustion so they must have moved us here... What happened to you?"

He watched her hands as she continued removing bandages from his wounds and then looked at her.

"Naruto found me. We fought"

Sakura's hands stopped and she stared into Sasuke's eyes for what felt like the heaviest and longest moment of silence she had ever experienced.

"Is... Is he dead?" She whispered in a wavering voice.

Sasuke looked away for a moment, then back at her and shook his head.

"I don't think so."

She wanted to ask him what he meant by that, but something in her stopped her, the part that didn't really wanted to know.  
A Memory of their fight on the rooftop of the Hospital replayed in her mind and she smiled sadly.

"I know you don't agree, but I think it's a good thing that he isn't dead."

Sasuke and Sakura exchanged another look. He didn't mention that Sakura had formed his maybe into a no, and she didn't mention how he showed no protest at her remaining allegiance to Team 7.

That was when it without words was decided. They both would allow each other these small weaknesses.

Sasuke would allow himself to keep his bond to Sakura and Sakura would allow herself to keep her bond to Team 7.

These small weaknesses that would surely either safe them or break them.

She was helping him put a shirt she had found in the closet on when a simple knock came at the door.

No one called him in and Orochimaru didn't wait to be given permission to enter.

"Sasuke-kun, Sakura-chan." He greeted them with his obscene smile and chuckle, "Good to see you are both up and awake."

Sakura stood up and bowed lightly and uncomfortably fidgeted with her hands, Sasuke noticed her gesture but didn't comment on the it.

Sakura looked from Sasuke to Orochimaru waiting for either of them to say something.

"Have you healed, Sasuke-kun?" The Sanin asked.

Sasuke simply nodded.

"Good, we start your training at noon." Orochimaru was about to leave when he turned, "Kabuto will have someone show both of you around."

As the door fell shut Sakura allowed herself to shiver, his very presence made her body freeze.

Sasuke laid back down on the bed in silence.

She stood still for a while, then went over to her backpack.

She was picking it up off the ground when Sasuke spoke up.

"You healed my wounds."

She turned around and their eyes locked together.

It had been a statement but she still felt the need to say something. Just with a nod, more in agreement than an answer.

He simply made a thoughtful sound and turned around in bed, facing the wall.

Kabuto came to pick them up some time after.

If Sakura still had been afraid, she might have called what she would come to experience soon a nightmare. But she wasn't afraid anymore because as she soon came to learn, nightmares were nothing compared to the realities she would face.


	3. Memories That Haunt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long time since I updated, but I've changed so many things in this Chapter and I never seem to get where I want, but I feel like this is finally something presentable. It's been weird trying to balance flashback sequences with the present times, but I kinda like how I did it this time.
> 
> I hope all of you can understand where I'm trying to go with this story, If it's just a confusing mess, let me know.

"Care to elaborate?"

Sakura didn't want to answer. She struggled to organize the memory in her mind. But she needed to tell someone, to release the wave of horrors inside her, the memories and the mistakes. Or else she might go crazy. Crazier.

But how could she explain, to him what she didn't even understand herself? When she didn't know how to convey the guilt and the shame that mixed in with paranoia and madness.

"Before I answer..." She paused "Could I ask you a question, Ibiki-san?"

He gestured for her to speak freely.

Sakura's head swayed slightly to the side, her eyes dancing from Ibiki to the table and then back to him.

"Have you ever... done something, that goes so against your very nature, that you truly felt, how it changed who you are?"

Sakura saw his eyes steel, guarding himself against potentially revealing something about his past. But it was too late, she had already noticed it.

"You have." She answered for him.

"I've done questionable things, made my fair share of mistakes." He stared into her eyes as he talked, "But nothing that has truly changed me."

Sakura nodded. They both knew he was lying, but he didn't need to tell the truth for her to see it.

She looked at the table and then up at him again.

"I have. I've done things that even most criminals would frown at." She admitted shakingly, shame coated thickly in her tone. Sakura fidgeted in her seat, she didn't like thinking about the past. But she had to confront it.

  
Or else it would haunt her forever.

* * *

 

The memory that haunted her the most had been when she had lost her first "patient". His screams rang in her ears for hours afterwards.

There was no empathy or understanding from Kabuto, no comfort or advice for the future. Only harsh words for wasting a specimen and orders to clean up.

The sight of her own hands soaked in someone else's blood imprinted on her eyelids for the coming weeks. She saw her patient's pained face when she closed her eyes, still felt his clammy hands clutching to her. When the world around her was silent, she heard him beg her to save him.

She never even learned his name.

Sakura would comfort herself with the belief that she had tried to save him and had eased his passing. It helped with the guilt. Sometimes.

She would have liked to confide in Sasuke during that time, but she only saw him a month after it had happened. At that point, she hadn't felt like talking about it.

The feel of the patient's touch faded, She no longer saw his face when she slept and she started to learn to drown out his cries in her mind.

And life just went on.

* * *

 

Ibiki wasn't going to pretend that the trauma, of a 13-year-old medic-nin losing a patient, without any kind of support or mental health network around them, wouldn't cause a shift in personality that was forceful enough to potentially transform a child into a manic killer.

But he had always hated the idea that psychos and murderers must have had some sort of traumatic experience to lead them to become what they are, he knew better than most that sometimes people do cruel things just because it is in their nature.  
He was curious to find out how his beliefs applied to Sakura.

Ibiki expected that he would have to continue his questioning to keep her talking, but much to his surprise she kept talking on her own.

* * *

One day, She walked back to her room for some much-needed sleep, only to find Sasuke waiting in front of her room.

They had seen each other several times after having started their training, either by coincidence when Sakura would be playing courier for Kabuto and they would pass each other in the hallways, or when Sasuke was Injured after training or was otherwise in pain and he would be waiting in front of her door. She would always let him in without saying anything and he would take a seat on her bed as she healed him. They both knew he could get faster and more effective healing from Kabuto, but they also both knew why he came to her instead. Usually, no words would be exchanged between during this process, just a pleasant silence and enjoying a few moments of peace.

But that time Sasuke wasn't injured, at least not in anyway that Sakura could see. He just stood there with crossed arms, watching her as she approached him.

He was taller, she noticed.

"Sasuke-kun? Is everything okay?" Sakura asked. She realised her own voice sounded strange to her, old and almost sickly. She had barely spoken a word in several days.

He nodded, uncrossing his arms and started walking down the corridor.

"He wants to speak to us."

Sakura followed him without a word, an uneasy feeling spread through her. Orochimaru had not called upon her since she had begun her training with Kabuto and she worried what this could mean. She had only seen him when running errands around the hideout and even then he barely looked at her.

Was Kabuto unsatisfied with her progress?  
  
_No_ Sakura thought. Kabuto wasn't the type who would report you to your supervisor when unsatisfied with your work, he would tell you directly if he thought your work was lacking.  _Unless he wanted to stab you in the back for personal gain, of course._  A voice of doubt croaked from the back of her mind.

The sound of their steps echoed through the dim hallway and Sakura felt each one of them like a heavy punch to the gut.

 _Calm down. Calm down._ She didn't realise she was shaking. She was still afraid and that disgusted her. Her training had made her character stronger, had hardened her. Her ninja abilities had improved heavily. _It's pathetic to still be paralyzed by fear like this_  she scolded herself.

"Sakura" Sasuke's voice calling out to her brought her out of her self-doubting haze and she turned to look at him. His eyes looked forward as he walked. "How is your training going?"

It was a simple question, small talk. But Sakura knew what he was actually asking.

"I'm okay, don't worry about me." She answered with a soft smile.

He didn't say anything in response.

They arrived in the room that Sakura had begun to consider Orochimaru's office, based on how he seemed to spend most of his time in there, always reading or writing. He was standing in front of a massive bookshelf filled with scrolls, smirking at both of them when they entered. Sakura prepared herself mentally. She had to make sure to pretend not to be afraid, her loyalty to him had to seem genuine and not fear based.

"Sasuke-Kun, Sakura-Chan." He greeted and Sakura bowed politely in return.

Sasuke didn't move or perform any greeting, he simply stared at his teacher. Kabuto was nowhere to be seen and Sakura was surprised when she noticed that it unsettled her to be here without him.

"It's already been 3 months since both of you first came here," She hadn't realised that so much time had passed already, "And you have both made quite impressive progress."

Sakura felt alarmed at the compliment. Like it was a trap.

As it was, she knew her healing Jutsu and medical knowledge was what had been improving the fastest and although she knew she moved quicker and with more agility, her chakra level having improved to levels she never thought possible, she still didn't feel like her Combat skills had made much real progress. Her pain threshold was simply higher than any of the opponents she had met under Kabuto's tutelage.

"Therefore I've decided to send both of you out on a little mission." He strolled over to both of them, handing a green scroll to Sasuke, who started reading it without a word. "You will be handling this assignment together."

Sakura peeked at the scroll from the corner of her eye, she couldn't decipher much from the few things that she saw, but she pieced together enough to understand it was a form of delivery mission.

"Sasuke, I expect you to perform this assignment fast." He turned his attention from Sasuke to Sakura "Sakura, Kabuto tell's me you should be able to tag along on this, make sure that Sasuke returns in one piece."

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama." She answered.   
___________  
  
Ibiki's hands rested on the table as he observed Sakura's facial expressions.

She was keeping her eyes closed and her brows furrowed together, but other than that her body language revealed nothing but frustration to him.

"And what happened then?" he asked to remind her that he was also present in the room.

Sakura's face relaxed and she opened her eyes to look at him.  
She let out a breath and lightly shook her head, looking down to the ground again before continuing.  
___________

Feeling the wind and cold against her skin for the first time in weeks, Sakura realized that it was already winter. The leaves had fallen off the trees by now. The air in the forest was icy enough that when Sakura breathed into her hands to warm them, a light cloud of steam rose in front of her.

"It's going to snow," Sasuke declared.

Sakura turned to him as he stood from the stream and walked over to her with refilled water bottles.  
They were resting for the first time since leaving the hideout earlier in the morning after Sasuke had briefed her about their mission.

Sakura felt they must have travelled for at least several hours already, but they probably still had a few day's worths of walking ahead of them if her intuition was right. When she looked up at the sky she saw that Sasuke was right, heavy grey clouds hung over them and prevented any sun from peeking out at the forest clearing they stood in.

Not many words were shared between them as they travelled from forests landscapes to snow-covered plains, just simple communications and hand gestures. There was no reason for them not to talk, it was unlikely that anyone would listen in on them in the middle of nowhere, but the silence that they shared wasn't cold, it was comforting.  
It prompted Sakura to remember the times she spent together with Sasuke, Naruto and Kakashi as Team 7. When life was simple, yet exciting, hard but joyous. It drowned out the other thoughts and memories in her mind that she didn't want to have.

Sakura wasn't sure if the silence drowned out thoughts for Sasuke as well, but she allowed herself to think that it did.

The scenery changed from white wilderness to civilisation after several days of hard travel, she was exhausted, but she remembered how Orochimaru had specified urgency to Sasuke, so she pushed herself harder as not to slow him down.  
  
When they eventually did arrive at the location of their mission, the speed and nonchalance at which their delivery was completed unsettled Sakura more than the recipient's obvious corrupt nature.

  
She could tell from the slight frown on his face that the same was true for Sasuke, the smoothness at which the mission had been progressing either meant that Orochimaru had given them an easy task to perform, which could mean a number of things, from him underestimating them or attempting to hide something from them, or that the difficult part of the mission had yet to happen.

But as they stocked up on supplies and stayed the night at a small inn before heading out again, everything was still going smoothly and according to plan.  
  
Sakura even noticed that children were playing happily outside as adults chatted on the streets and people went merely about their daily lives. This Village had none of the usual signs a town affiliated with Orochimaru would have, there was no fear in the people around them, not even paranoia. That thought hovered in Sakura's mind.  
  
When they were prepared to leave what she had come to understand was the Land of Frost, Sakura tucked at Sasuke's coat as they stepped outside of the Inn back into the snowy streets.  
  
He turned his head to look at her, raising a brow in question as he watched her focused face.  
  
"Something has been bothering me about this place, Sasuke-Kun." She stated and bit her lip. She stepped outside and stood next to him, observing their surroundings, Sasuke following suit.

"Everyone is so Happy, they act like no harm could come to them, but this Village is hardly protected." She pointed out the Moldy and Old wooden walls surrounding the Community. "There is no armoury, no guards, no civilian militia of any kind, and despite the lack of defences the people still seemingly feel protected... The only reason they would have to feel like this is if there was..." When the puzzle pieces fell into place simultaneously for both of them they exchanged looks.  
  
"Is if there was Ninjas defending the Village." Sasuke ended her thought process.

It all made sense now.

The difficulty of the mission wasn't in the delivery but in the location.

They had left Sound territory, any foreign Ninja that recognized or spotted them could potentially know about their Rogue status or attempt to claim whatever bounty they might have on them. Sakura figured that her part of the mission was less about avoiding detection but rather testing her loyalty. Testing whether she would run towards the first friendly Jounin she saw and offer information on Orochimaru to secure herself passage back home. It wasn't long after they figured out the true purpose of the assignment that they started noticing the ninja gear shops, the smith forging kunai and the children doing Jutsu hand signs and playing Ninja, as they walked through the streets.

Sakura pulled her Cloak's hood further down her face when she spotted a couple of Sand Ninjas drinking inside a restaurant.  Careful not to alert other people to their presence they moved through the small town that seemed to be a hotspot stop for Ninjas from over the entire world.

As they approached the gate that would lead them back unto the open road, Sakura was already feeling relief for having not been recognized or spotted, she wondered for a second if they had even been put into the Bingo book, potentially people assumed they were dead. She could almost smell the forest in the distance when some drunk man stumbled out of a bar bumping into her, the impact of his weight and the surprise of the sudden contact made her lose her balance as she fell to the ground.

  
"Whooopsie! Sorry about that little missy..." He paused and stared at her, his red flushed face forming various grimaces, before pointing at her and loudly exclaiming "Hey, look at that, I've never seen someone with Pink hair! Guys, come and look at this!" The drunk man blabbered to his other intoxicated friends.

  
Sakura pulled her hood up quickly, hoping to hide the pink locks before anyone else would notice. But when she took ahold of the hand Sasuke offered her, she could already see in his now red eyes that were peering to the left of them that it was too late.

A woman waiting outside a clothing store, as two other Ninja where haggling inside, was looking straight at them, the Konoha Hitai-ate seemingly glaring down at Sasuke and Sakura.  
Just as the Woman turned to alert her teammates, Sasuke simply muttered: "run", before taking off in the direction of the gates, Sakura close behind him.

As they made their way through the busy streets, Sakura heard yelling behind her, but she paid it no mind, focusing purely on her own breathing and keeping up her speed as they dashed through the gates of the village. They entered the woods in no time and for a second she thought that they might have escaped, but the faint sound of footsteps crinkling against snow behind them told her otherwise. They continued to sprint through the thick pine forest and Sakura considered if it was possible for them to use the trees as leverage for faster transportation, but the pine branches would hardly work as anything but an obstacle or a hiding place. 

Sakura looked behind her several times hoping to catch a glance at their chasers, but couldn't see anything except green and white. Colours blurring together. It wasn't long before she became more and more aware of, that the slight headstart that they had on their pursuers was running out.

She was running out of breath, her speed slowing more and more. 

Sakura turned her dizzy gaze forward again as she realized how the silhouette of Sasuke in his black coat was disappearing further into the distance in a cascade of Green pine trees and white snow.


	4. Frozen Bones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, I just didn't know how to continue writing and wasn't sure how to put into words what I imagined. Hope it still makes sense ~

Sakura watched Sasuke's form slowly disappear, further and further into the distance. A distinct memory of watching Naruto and Sasuke's backs walking in front of her slipped into her head.

She felt an extreme desire to call out too him, wanting to alert him to the fact that he was leaving her behind. But she couldn't risk the Konoha Ninjas hearing her and potentially giving away their location to them.

 _Turn around! Sasuke-kun please turn around!_  Her racing mind called out to him but before she knew it, he was out of her sight.

She was running as fast as her weak legs could carry her through the snow, trying to catch up to him, but panic trickled into her and she stumbled face first into the cold snow.

Sakura thought for sure that this would be it, she would be captured and forced to return to Konoha as a prisoner, perhaps she should have felt relief at the thought of returning to her home. But the thought brought her nothing but shame and guilt. She heard voices approaching as she scrambled to get back on her feet, but her legs were too exhausted to carry her own weight anymore.

 _Stand up dammit! This is Pathetic!_  Her mind scolded her.

Sakura bit down hard, trying to force any energy out of her arms in an attempt to push herself up from the frozen ground, as a harsh hand grabbed hold of her hood and dragged her backward. She struggled and fought against the grip that held her down as the woman that had spotted them in the village walked in front of Sakura inspecting her face.

"You sure it's her?" the man holding her asked, he had shifted his grip from Sakura's head to her arms and was now tieing her hands together.

"Of course it's her, Jun!" A separate squeakier male voice exclaimed, coming from behind her, on Sakura's right "Tani wouldn't make us chase after her in the middle of our mission if it wouldn't be!"

The woman crouched down in front of her and Sakura got her first proper look at the kunoichi. She was much older than Sakura, most likely in her mid-30s, Her hair was cut short and soft brown bangs hung over her forehead protector. Her grey eyes peered at Sakura so harshly that she couldn't help but shake in fear, or was the cold getting to her?

"I'm not so sure." Sakura's captor that stood behind her said while harsh rope wrung around her wrists. "She is pretty harmless for a missing Nin."

"She certainly looks like her" Tani stood up, turning to the other leaf ninjas, "But it's best to be sure."

From a large pouch attached to her back, the woman took out a book that Sakura immediately recognized as the bingo book.

Sakura's heart dropped. Her Captors made sure that she was completely unable to move before all of them surrounded the woman, who seemed to be the leader of their team, and all peered into the worn out book.

Sakura got her first chance to look at the other two. The man that had grabbed her from behind was much older than the others, his hair had greyed completely and his wrinkles hung heavily off his annoyed face.

The man that they had referred to as Jun had a skinny build and wore a pair of square black glasses over soft blue eyes, his general body language made him look harmless but the tanto sword attached to his hip spoke otherwise. The woman looked sternly from Sakura's shivering form to the picture in the book in her hands.

"It's her." She concluded and shut the book and immediately put it away again. "A shame we couldn't capture the Uchiha, his bounty is higher."

The older man let out a harsh and deep laugh as he walked over to Sakura and forced her back onto her feet. Sakura winced at his firm touch but found that she hardly had to move by herself as his brute grip on her tied up hands pretty much held her up in the air.

"You say that Tani, but I know that you have a soft spot for runaway genins with concerned parents." he taunted the woman as she marched in front of them, Jun right behind her. She neither answered his taunt nor spared the older ninja so much as a look.

Sakura's heart beat heavily as she considered her options and what was currently happening. She knew she couldn't blame anyone but herself for ending up in the situation she was in, her own weakness having resulted in her capture. 

But what could she do now? 

A part of her wanted to just submit to them and let them bring her back to Konoha, she couldn't deny that the mention of her parents hadn't reminded Sakura of the gut-wrenching longing she had to see them again, a longing she had recently learned to push away from her mind, writing it off as childish instincts that she needed to grow out of fast.

As they trudged through the thick snow, back towards the village, Sakura noticed the sound of a river current racing, not too far away from them.  
A desperate idea formed in Sakura's mind as she spoke for the first since having left the Inn with Sasuke.

"I ... I need to pee." She stated, trying to sound as gentle as she could.  
  
Her captors all turned to look at her. Sakura knew it was stupid and an obvious attempt to escape, but she needed to try anything if it could give her a chance of finding an opening.

Jun looked over to Tani with an embarrassed smile, the woman just shook her head quietly and Sakura heard the old man behind her sigh. Tani walked up to Sakura and grabbed hold of her.  
  
"No funny moves, you hear me?" She hissed at Sakura, who only nodded.  
  
The woman pushed Sakura in direction of the woods, but into the opposite direction off where Sakura had heard the river.

"Wait" She exclaimed, trashing lightly in the other woman's grip "The river! I need to go to the river!" Sakura blabbered in panic.

"So you can jump in and get hypothermia so the little Uchiha will have a chance at catching us off guard as we save you?" She shook her head at Sakura's Naive and obvious plans "Yeah I don't think so, now move!"

She gave her a harsh push forward causing Sakura to almost lose her balance again, but Jun caught her before she fell.

"Come on Tani!" Jun helped Sakura stand up and lightly patted away the snow that coated her. He looked down at Sakura's face for a second, it might have been her youthful and rounded appearance, or her rosy cheeks and wet eyes, but something made the young man take pity on her.

He swung around to face his comrades, leaving his back completely open to the shivering Sakura.

"You are being too harsh!" He accused "She used to be a Konoha Ninja just like us you know? I mean look at her! She's just a little Gir-"  
  
Sakura instantly took advantage of the man's trusting nature. With agility Sakura didn't she think she could possibly posses at this point of her exhaustion, she spun her body around and thrust herself back into Jun.  
  
Her wrists ached against the crude fiber of the rope as her restrained hands struggled to get a hold of the Tanto knife she had seen on the man's hip earlier. In the split of a second, her fingers managed to succeed in getting a hold of the handle of the short blade. When she secured her clutch on it she quickly pushed it towards herself to slice through the rope around her wrists.  
  
She knew through the surge of adrenaline and pain that her sloppy moves had also managed to cut her own flesh, but she felt how the rope fell against her feet, as she freed herself from her restraints.

Sakura flipped the blade into her dominant hand and without thinking about it she pushed it forwards, acting entirely on instinct, panic, and adrenaline. Her green eyes saw into the fearful, empty blue eyes of her victim before her vision went red.  
  
She hadn't aimed for the carotids in his neck, but the extreme blood rain sloshing out of his cervix was confirmation that she had hit the vital spot.  
  
The other pair of Ninjas still stood frozen in shock, as their friend fell to the ground, clutching at his throat and coating the snow beneath them crimson. The moment of surprise wore off but she didn't wait around for them to snap back into reality.

Sakura dashed into the trees, towards the sound of the rushing river, clutching the tanto that dripped with the warm blood of the first person she had ever killed.

* * *

Her eyes were fixated on the ground as she paused her speaking.

Ibiki studied her body language as he himself also took a second to process what he had been told. Sakura sighed and raised her head up.

"Did he make it?" She asked softly.

"No" Ibiki answered in a cold tone.

She nodded.

"I didn't think he did" Sakura leaned forward in her seat, peering up at her interrogator and as their eyes met, Ibiki felt surprise flicker inside him as he saw an amused smile on her face, "They never do." She whispered, eyes flickering with a glint of joy that was only there for a split second before her entire face shifted back to a guilt-filled expression and thoughtful eyes.

Ibiki didn't say anything. 

* * *

The river had been further away than she feared but closer than she had expected.

She hadn't turned around to see if she was being pursued, adrenaline carrying her feet through the thick snow, but as she stood in the clearing next to the rushing river she couldn't hear anything besides her own heavy breath, heaving for air.

She knew there was no time to pause, but she couldn't continue like this.  
  
Sakura hurried towards the water, crouching down next to the stream. Setting the sword down next to her, she moved her hands to drink from the cold stream but halted her movements.  
  
She stared at her hands in disbelief, breathing warm clouds of air in front of her face. Her breath hitched. The red color had worked itself into her palms and covered the entirety of her hands, revealing the oval patterns of her handprints.  
  
The sight of her blood covered hands send innocent childhood memories of hand painting together with Ino into her mind, but it also woke nightmares of how her hands had been covered with blood like this once before when she had killed her first patient.  
  
_No. Not killed. Lost. We lost him._  The rational part of her mind tried to reason, while she still sat planted in the snow.

Abruptly, the sound of movement from behind her snapped her out of her thoughts. Sakura spun her head around, peering into the woods as her hands fidgeted in the snow for the bloody Tanto. The cold blade stung her red and freezing hands, but she caught a hold of the grip and stood up in a guarded position holding the dagger in front of her body, shivering in the cold.

  
_Hide! Don't just stand there and wait for them!_  Her mind screamed out, but she still stood tranquil, eyes glued to the tree line.  _Run towards them, they won't even know what happened before they die..._  Another voice suggested, much calmer and patient than the others.

Just as Sakura was about to finally move, two forms came rushing towards the clearing.

She recognized one of them immediately.  
  
"Sasuke-kun!" She exclaimed in surprise and relief, taking a step forward to meet him, but she realized the grey-haired Konoha ninja was running right behind him.

The Man's face was filled with rage and Sakura noted that the woman from before hadn't joined his chase. Sakura thought that Sasuke might crash into her or run pass her, but he quickly turned around just in front of her and performed a signature of hand moves that Sakura couldn't see. In a second the space in front of them was completely engulfed in a ball of fire.

The stomach-turning stench of burning skin hit Sakura's nose, signifying that Sasuke had hit their pursuer. Steam rose from the ground as the fire in front of them cleared. Sakura thought for sure that the man would be too injured to move or even stand, but from the cloud of fog, a figure emerged.

Sasuke backed up next to Sakura, holding one of his hands in front of her. Her eyes trembled and she heard a slight sound of surprise coming from Sasuke. They both looked on in horror as the man who a few minutes ago, had been strong enough to hold Sakura's entire body in the air with one hand, now strained towards them, wobbling on completely black burned legs. Sakura saw how his eyeballs seemingly boiled, his entire body steaming in the cold air when snow hit his flesh that was burned away to reveal bones and muscle.  
  
Sakura grabbed a hold of Sasuke's arm, both taking slow steps backwards. The man stretched his melting arms out towards them and let out a painful and distorted croak like his vocal cords had snapped like the strings of a violin. Sakura took another step back as the marching carcass fell to the ground in front of them, pushing both Sakura and Sasuke falling into the icy river.

* * *

"What about the woman?" Sakura asked Ibiki, who was writing down the newest points of interests of Sakura's testimony. He only just glanced up at her for a second in confusion, as he continued to write.

"What about her?" he replied.

"She returned to Konoha, right?" Sakura's brows furrowed together "How else would you have known about the fight."

Ibiki finished the sentence he had been writing, then gave Sakura a distant look.

"She did return, only surviving member of her squad after what was supposed to be a simple routine mission." Ibiki paused for a second, studying her face.

Her concerns and guilt feelings had to be genuine because if they weren't, Ibiki was either getting old or he was dealing with the greatest liar he had encountered throughout his career. However the emotions she had displayed conflicted with his reports, and with the shift in personality, he had seen earlier.

It all didn't seem to make sense, it was like he was dealing with two completely different individuals.

"She killed herself the same night she arrived back in her own home, though." He didn't have to tell her the fate of the Late Tani Ikuko, but he had a gut feeling that humoring Sakura's interest in the fate of the woman might trigger an interesting response.

But she just sat there, saying nothing.

Several minutes passed without anything coming from the girl, then she continued talking once again, unprompted by Ibiki.

* * *

The cold shock set in right away, Sakura struggled to keep her head over water as she resisted the urge to gasp for air. The water was freezing, it was a wonder that the river hadn't frozen over yet. Her body was cooling so fast, she already felt her limbs getting numb.

Her breathing was uncontrollable and she was on the verge of hyperventilating. She didn't know how long she struggled in the cold water, in complete panic before she heard Sasuke call out her name. Her head snapped over to where is his voice had come from.

Sasuke was pulling himself up unto the snow, he quickly turned around and reached out his hand to help Sakura up to.

He pulled her out of the freezing cold water and both of them fell to the snowy ground immediately, breathing rapidly with teeth clattering.  
  
"Shelter." Sasuke managed to spurt out in between shivers.  
  
Sakura just stared at him in confusion and shock without responding, he took hold of her hand and started pulling her in a direction away from the icy river. Sakura was shivering less than Sasuke, who was still leading her by the hand into the forest where they eventually stumbled upon a structure in the distance.  
  
She didn't know if he had already known about the old stone cabin that they were walking towards or if he had just found it due to pure luck. She didn't care. All she wanted was to be warm again, her limbs were becoming number by the second and it became harder and harder to move, the only thing dragging her forward at this point was the firm grip that Sasuke had on her hand.  
  
He only let go for a split second, to force the rotten wooden door open, but the short moment without the warmth of his hand felt like the coldest breeze.  
  
Her memory of the cabin where foggy, she was sure she must have passed out at some point. She remembered laying on something soft that smelled of dust and ashes, watching as Sasuke scramble around the cabin smashing furniture for their wood.  
  
When she woke again, Sasuke was rocking her shoulder lightly to wake her. Sakura already felt warmer just from looking at Sasuke's concerned expression, his face illuminated by the warm colours of the fire in the hearth.  
  
Her consciousness was returning to her and her skin warmed when she realized Sasuke was attempting to undress her.

If she would have been in any other condition she might have blushed and questioned his intentions, but as she stood on the brink of passing out again she could only muster a look of confusion and to take hold of his hand that gripped the zipper of her dress.

"Sorry" He apologized and let go of the zipper, "we can't stay in these wet clothes."  
  
That's when she realized that safe for his underwear Sasuke was completely naked in front of her. If it had been any other situation Sakura might have felt shy or excited but she at the time she couldn't find the energy to do anything else but to sit up and discard her drenched articles of clothing.  
  
For a moment she considered keeping her black leggings on but opted out of unneeded modesty. She passed the moist pile of clothes over to Sasuke, who had politely averted his gaze while she was undressing.  
  
Sakura grabbed the dusty rough blanket from the bed and pulled it over herself, sitting down in front of the warm fire. Sasuke had made an improvised clothesline out of steel thread, where he hung Sakura's clothing to dry.  
  
She observed him as he did so. It felt alien, observing him during such an ordinary everyday chore. There was nothing special about the way he did it, but to Sakura, it still felt like he had a distinctive technique. She couldn't pinpoint what it was, but something about the way Sasuke wrung out the remaining water from her dress felt like she dreaming.  
Or maybe she was? She wondered if she was dreaming right now, that perhaps she had passed out in the icy water, Sasuke having left her behind to freeze to death.  
  
She shivered at the thought and Sasuke turned around to look at her. He was worried, she could see that in his eyes, even if his face didn't express it. The way his gaze would constantly tear from what he was doing back over to her. She wondered if she really looked so bad that he had reason to look at her with such pity and concern.  
  
When he put Sakura's winter boots in front of the hearth so as to dry off, Sakura extended her arm out, to invite him to sit next to her. Neither of them thought anything of it as he took a seat next to her. Both of them knew it was about survival as Sakura awkwardly tried to rap the blanket around both of them. They knew it was a necessity when he wrapped himself around her to share body heat.

Knowing all that didn't make either of any less nervous. 

She could feel Sasuke's heart beating heavily against his chest and Sakura was sure he could feel her hot breath on his neck. They both stared into the fire so as to not meet the eyes of the other person. After a long time of holding each other close, the heat had returned to both of them.

Her eyelids were starting to feel heavy and she had to withstand the urge to rest her head against his shoulder, her cheeks heavy with a red flush. She swore she even saw a pink cascade peeking over Sasuke's ears. Even though they were both warm again, it seemed like neither of them knew or wished how to remove themselves from each other.  
  
Eventually, it had to happen and Sasuke stiffly pulled his arms back towards himself and Sakura let her hands slip away from his naked torso. Neither of them said anything as he stood and dressed in his now dry shirt before sitting down in front of the fire and adding more wood to the flames.

Sakura pulled the Blanket that suddenly seemed too big for one person over her head and body. They again sat in silence, both staring into the fire until Sakura finally broke the silence.  
  
"Can I ask you something?"  
  
Sasuke turned his head towards her, watched her breathe calmly for a second and then nodded.  
  
Sakura realized that there were a thousand things that she wanted to ask.  
Why didn't you wait for me? Didn't you know I was falling behind? Was it your plan to let them capture me? Why?  
  
In the end, she just asked.

"Do you want me to go back to Konoha?" She asked.  
  
Now that she had been able to think about what had happened earlier for a while she realized that it was the only possible reason for why Sasuke had acted as he did. He had never before been unable to tell when Sakura was exhausted, nor had he ever before left her behind, it seemed like the only viable reason he could have had for running ahead. She had considered that he might just have felt indifferent towards her, but the way he had looked after her and protected her when they reunited at the river made her feel like that he must feel at least some form of responsibility towards her.

Sakura tried to stop herself from tearing up, but she couldn't help it. Her eyes glazed over and she let out a single restrained sob.

Sasuke studied her as he was thinking, then turned his gaze back to the fire.  
"Yes." He affirmed her suspicion.  
  
The tears rolled down her flushed cheeks as she nodded. She understood, in a strange way but still, she felt like he had somehow betrayed her. Sakura took a deep breath.

"Don't do that again" She let out a small cry and sniffed while still holding his gaze, "No matter if you think it's best for me to go back, don't ever... leave me behind like that again, okay?"

"Okay." He answered genuinely and Sakura felt relieved in knowing that he had listened to her request.

She couldn't remember a time before where she had ever spoken to him like this, but it didn't seem strange or inappropriate, just new. Sakura lightly shook her head and dried her face with her arm.

"I'm here because I want to be Sasuke, don't forget that." She let out an exhausted laugh and wiped the corners of her eyes.

Sasuke nodded again, just silently observing her.

* * *

"So you recovered and rested after fighting the Konoha Ninjas before then you returned to Orochimaru?" He inquired.

She nodded.

Ibiki was about to ask something as she once more interrupted him.

"After we delivered our mission, Orochimaru didn't even ask about how it went..." She explained "We didn't need to report anything. He just wanted to know if the job was done or not." Sakura shook her head looking up at Ibiki but also looking through him as if he wasn't present.

"Sasuke certainly wasn't going to tell them that I had been caught and we were forced to fight Konoha Ninjas because of me, and what was I supposed to say?" She suddenly blurted out, venting in frustrated guilt.   
  
"That I almost failed our mission because I was captured, that I had murdered ninjas from the village I grew up in?!" She cracked a broken smile and gently shook her head, her eyes wet and shaky with anger.  
  
"After that mission, I pushed myself harder and harder, I perfected my healing, my medical knowledge grew broader every day, but I knew that wasn't going to amount to much in my next fight. Studying wasn't going to save me in combat... I just got lucky in the fight against those Ninjas, but what would happen to me the next time?"

The fluorescent light above them flickered slightly, Ibiki continued listening without saying anything. He wasn't sure what she was telling him.

"So I went straight to Kabuto and I told him that I needed harsher training." Sakura calmed herself and breathed in and out deeply. "But that wasn't the whole truth, I didn't just want to be strong enough to defend myself."

* * *

Sakura felt the punch before it even hit her. The massive man in front of her laughed with madness, enjoying her pained grimaces and cries.

Kabuto stood off to the side, observing the ongoing battle from the treeline next to the battleground.  
  
She was able to shake off the pain, but she was getting tired. Her chakra was low and she knew it was impossible for her to actually physically overpower her enemy at this point. The violent giant was preparing to launch another punch at her when a harsh yell came from Kabuto.

"Enough!" Kabuto approached them, Sakura's enemy simply just strolled away. Less than a month had passed since her and Sasuke's fight with the Konoha Ninjas. The humility of defeat was still fresh in her mind, but so was the longing to improve, to be able to gain the upper hand again.

Sakura sat on the dry grass, trying to catch her breath, one hand clutching at the bleeding wound on her arm.

Kabuto stood in front of her and clicked his tongue.

"Well Sakura, that was truly pathetic." He mocked and Sakura grimaced in frustration.  
  
_He's right_  a nasty voice of self-doubt inside herself whispered.  
  
"I really do not understand how you could possibly lose every single fight this badly." He sighed and crossed his arms, looking down at her. Sakura raised her head, staring into his cold and unimpressed eyes.

"The worst part might be that you always start out so well, but any chance at beating your foe, you squander by how fast you exhaust yourself." Sakura grimaced and looked away from Kabuto. She let out a gasp as he grabbed her chin forcefully, forcing her to keep looking at him.  
  
He stared down into her fearful eyes, focus and anger written on his face.

"Is it just your incompetence? Are you going to keep wasting my time with these pitiful attempts?" He provoked.  
  
When she didn't respond, Kabuto grabbed her by the Hair, shoving her face down towards the ground. She let out a yelp, grabbing hold of his wrist, trying to release his grip on her.  
  
"Do you want to keep having to rely on others to survive in the world of Shinobu? Are you just going to keep being a useless civilian that somehow managed to learn a few Jutsu!?"

Sakura winced at his harsh words, tears welling up in her eyes from the continued pain of having her skull yanked around by her hair.  
  
What hurt about his accusations wasn't whether they were true or not, but that Sakura had thought the exact same things many times before, chastising herself for her own weakness. What hurt was that even though she had come so far, even though she had betrayed her family, friends and village, just to come to this place where power and strength was the only thing people aspired to gain.  
  
What truly was that even here, she still hadn't changed. She still needed others to save her, she still could only watch from the sidelines. After she had killed Jun, she thought that it was proof that she had improved. But looking back she knew that it had been sloppy. If it hadn't been for him underestimating her, she wouldn't have managed to escape. If Sasuke hadn't shown up, the grey-haired ninja would have caught up to her and surely killed her to avenge his friend's brutal death.

Sakura tried to hold it back, clenching her hands harshly, squeezing her eyes shut, but she couldn't help it, small sobs and hiccups escaping her as she cried in anger and frustration.  
  
Kabuto's grip lessened for a second but then he started shaking her head around, shaking his own head in disbelief.  
  
"Crying again Sakura?! Just some feeble girl?!" He yelled and yanked her head upwards, "Look at me! Is this who you are?!"

"..N-no.." She stuttered out.

"Huh?" He shook his grip again, moving her entire body back and forth "What was that?"

Sakura's eyes opened wide, breathing in sharply as she stares into his pitiless black eyes.  
  
"NO!" She screamed as she grabbed his arms, pulling and scratching at him until his grip on her hair went loose, her breathing was erratic as she clumsily raised herself up to stand on her own two legs.  
  
"But what can I do?! I wasn't born with some family jutsu to give me an edge! How am I supposed to compare to others when everyone started so far ahead of me!?" She wailed in frustration. "Tsunade-sama understood! When I told her I had no special abilities, she didn't try to tear me down over it, she encouraged me to learn, even entrusting me with the Yin Sea-"  
Sakura interrupted herself in her collapse, something changed in the way Kabuto looked at her, his cold and disappointed expression turned into one of interest and amusement, smirking slightly. A dark feeling began to settle inside of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I blatantly steal some of the dialogue from Highschool Of The Dead in Sakura's meltdown to Ibiki? Yes, yes I did. And I most likely will again. Also: If anyone has noticed some plot holes or anything like that, please tell me! I have so many ideas and thoughts for this story I worry that I sometimes jump around too much!

**Author's Note:**

> Please remember to leave Suggestion and Criticism in the Comments! Thank you and stay posted!


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